Ape Adventure

loading... MUSIC BY start! start! Hi there, human! My friend here just told me something interesting. He noticed a certain part of your anatomy is... quite a bit larger than what most apes have. I was wondering if I could see for myself. You're affraid of him?! You are such a Wuss! NEVERMIND! Oh, good!!Follow me! I'd love to! I'll ditch the gorilla! He is such a JERK! Oh, YUK! Are you crazy? You're disgusting! Go away! So...what's up? REJECTED! You're not too suave, are you? Come on! Show these damn, dirty apes! who's the superior primate! continue continue Nice work, human! You are quite the ape-ladies man. You've got a date now! Too bad you don't have a car any money, or any idea where ot go on your date! Ooops! The school-day is OVER! Do you think you could have done better? Why not give it another try? Welcome to Ape High! Meet your classmates! >Wink at her. >Smile. >Introduce yourself. >Pick the LEFT urinal. >Pick the RIGHT urinal. >What's so absurd? >I talk, you filthy ape! >I'm a mutant. >I'm from space. >Forbiden Zone. >A Flashlight. >Food Conatiner. >A lightsaber. >A blender >An ancient ape goblet >A fish bowl >Apes are smarter >Humans once ruled!! >My brain is too tired >No, You Damn Dirty Ape! >NO! You Murderers! >No Problem! >I'd rather not >No! This isn't right! I can't! >Start cutting! >Oh gross!! That's enough! >Poke at her brain >This is getting gross. Time to stop. >Poke more! >That's easy! Drink that milk. >Refuse the milk. >Bugs!? No way! >Chomp down on those termites! >No, thanks. >Suck with a straw. >Snort up nose. >It wasn't me! >I'm so sorry! >Screw You, Ape! >Stay quiet. >Help! Let me out of here! >Grab her butt! >Put your arm on her shoulder. >Want to go out sometime? >You're so hot! >What about your gorilla-boyfriend? >Sure thing! Hey there, Human! Wow! I've never met a talking human before! My name is Chimpy. See that orangutan girl over there? She's Mira. But, you can forget about her, That big gorilla is trying to go out with her. Damn gorillas... We should get to class. HEY, MUTANT! I'm going to make it a point to kick your ass every day. ESPECIALLY if I catch you talking to Mira! Get out of my face, MUTANT! Very smooth! You have been kocked out and stuffed in a locker! Let's hope this doesn't make you too late for History! Ouch! That ape is one mean mutha! You better look out for him. Anyway, it's time for History class! Hmmm... it looks like that chimp was sneaking a peek just then. You Know what I mean? Oh well, You need to get to class! Ahhhhhh! That's relief! Now, go meet some more apes! You'll have to head over to your first class of the day soon! Well! It appears we have a new student... A human? In my class? How absurd! Woa, What!? You can talk? Are you some kind of mutant or something? Ahhh...That's what I thought! The biology teacher will want to meet you! Ok, wise-ass, sit your space-butt down. Hello human. You may be able to talk, but.. you are obviously too dumb to understand the concept of time. YOU ARE LATE! And that means DETENTION! The Forbiden Zone?! That's not good... I won't stand for this foolishness! GET OUT! You know, missing your first class on your first day of school will not give these apes a good impression. Oh, well! Don't miss Biology! I'm afraid you have failed to convince the Ape High faculty of your intelligence. You are stuck with the speds forever! start over! start over! Alright, HUMAN! Let's see how smart you really are! Can you tell me what this is?? Ah-Ha!See class? He is stupid. As we all know, this is... an ancient banana holder made by our ape ancestors. Bwah!You are right, but that proves nothing! Well! I don't suppose you know what this is!! Nope! It's what we apes like to call a "Blender" We use it to "blend" ingredients, such as bananas. Wuh?? How could a human know that?! Maybe you are smart... Now: Tell me why apes rule this planet and not humans. Nonsense!I can't believe a human being was sent here! Yes! Good answer! OK, Dirty Human! Next line of questions... OK. Fair enough. I know your simple human brain has its limits. You may stay in my class. I'll see you tomorow. Stupid Creature! You can head straight to the sped class! Well, that wasn't too hard! Ape school is just like human school. The right answer is whatever you think the teacher wants to hear! Hello there, Human! I am very glad to have you here! Today's lesson should be of great interest to you! We are dissecting human brains! Get to it! That's ok.But, you'll have to serve detention! We are going to dissect your mutant brain! We want to see what makes you so different! Well then! Maybe you won't mind if we dissect you! OK, You're dead. You may have noticed that apes don't take kindly to talking mutant humans. That was a great shot! Has a biology class ever been that satisfying before? Now, Time for Lunch! It's Lunchtime! Here's your chance to impress the apes, especially Mira. They want to see how much you can eat! EWW! That didn't go too well. Mira doesn't look very impressed. You should be more carefull next time. YUK! You almost drank this stuff! That would have been totally gross! Oh gross. I know I'd be embarased if I puked in front of everybody on my first day of school. Well, at least you didn't puke in the girl's lap. Excellent! That was very manly of you! Nothing impresses a girl more than chomping down on a swarming pile crunchy bugs! You are a wuss. Why should you be afraid of a little blue bowl of jello? What a shame. Oh, well! You better get your wimpy ass to Gym class! Good job! You have shown the apes your ability to fashion your own tools for eating. Very clever! Mira looks impressed! Now it's time for Gym! What the Hell was that? Slurping gelatin up your nose may be cool in kindergarten, but not in high school. Well, it's time for Gym. Human! YOU hit me with that ball!! You filthy, stinking, ugly, MUTANT! Good job, Fool. You just got beat up right in front of the ape chick! You can forget about getting anywhere with her now! Several minutes later... Interesting! It looks like that big gorilla stuffed you in a locker.... in the Girls' locker-room! What ever shall you do?? Oh man! Maybe that wasn't such a great idea. The girls didn't seem too happy with you spying on them. Anyway, your 1st day is almost done! Holy Crap! Free Peep Show! Just like in all the movies, except, of course, without the rainbow-butts. Anyway, your first day is almost done! CONGRATULATIONS! You are one smooth human! It is your destiny to be one of Ape High's most popular kids! Detention on your first day of school?! Not a very exciting way to end the day. Maybe you could do better a second time around! Hosed down in detention on your very first day of school?! That's just sad. You should really go back and try things again! Action Satisfaction! I must say, it was very mature of you to look past that hideous butt of hers. Now, what's next? Welcome To The Future! You were on a routine space mission when tragedy struck! After entering a space-time-continuum-thing you now find yourself in the year 3,001! The earth is now ruled by a race of super intelligent apes! Where are all the humans? They are still here... but they are really dumb now. Since you are so smart, the apes have decided to put you in high school. Good Luck!