Johnny Rocketfingers

Loading... NEXT n. adj. "sup" sup 1. short for "what's up."2. Describes a very laid back, cool individual.IE: "Look at that 'sup' guy hitting on the largebreasted super model. adj. "suppish" supp穒sh - 1. so cool that the person seems "sleepy."2. Abnormally slick.3. Stealthy, sly. 0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% Play Play he's a problem solver hE'S sUPPISH hE'S Part 1The Case Our story begins with Johnny, at the local bar.. Part 1The Case Part 1The Case Johnny, Johnny!! My little girl has beenkidnapped by the local street thugs!!Please Johnny you've gotta help me!I'll pay you anything! 1. This trash just interrupted your smoke... you gonna let that fly? 1. This trash just interrupted your smoke... you gonna let that fly? 3. Get this bitch out of your face. 3. Get this bitch out of your face. 4. Go to sleep 4. Go to sleep 2. You need the money... accept the whiney little shit's offer. 2. You need the money... accept the whiney little shit's offer. Lemme buy you a drink. You want beer?.. ..or hard liquor? Looks like you bashed her good, Johnny. Better do something before the copsget here.. Get the hell out of here! Try and run Stay and get shot Yes, this game bringsme joy! No, this game brings mesorrow and anger. Bad move... you lose!!Wanna give it another shot? Quitter!!! Suck it Wha-..what? But.. my littlegirl... Minutes later Alright bitch. I'll do it. Johnny! Bastard. A few hours pass.. Wake up, Johnny. What Time to pay your tab, youowe 30 bucks. 1. Pay the good man. You drank your fair share. 1. Pay the good man. You drank your fair share. 2. Try and talk your way out of it. 2. Try and talk your way out of it. 3. Fuck tabs 3. Fuck tabs Awww c'mon Marty, be a friend. Remember when I savedyour wife from that fire? I've got a sweet deal with this bitch that was just inhere. I'll come back and pay you when I finish the job. Look behind you! A three headed monkey!! * This joker thinks he can order you around? * Check out the bar alley. Check out the bar alley. Go to the local thug hang out. Go to the local thug hang out. Go inside the bar. Go inside the bar. What do I do now.. Give up. Give up. Don't be a bitch. I'm not goin' back in there untilI can pay my bar tab. Johnny Rocketfingers doesn'tgive up. Been there, done that. Leave Leave An empty can, justwhat I've alwayswanted. Items Soup I'm not veryhungry. Nah, I'll shoot uplater. This might come inhandy.. Somebody threw out a perfectlygood crowbar! Soup Look at Look at Talk to Talk to Pick up Pick up This is a cat, not a goat. It's be kind to animalsweek. Here kitty, kitty. Cometo Johnny. whoa. It's a child like scribbleof what looks like a cat. No treats for pussy untilI get some answers. Tell me everything youknow about the recentkidnapping. Maybe it didn't hearme.. Start answering me orI'll give you somethingto me"OW" about. Guess it doesn't respondto threats. Don't say anything if youwatch gay porn. heh heh. One sided conversationsdon't do much for me. I've got a sweet deal with this bitch that wasjust in here. I'll come back and pay you when Ifinish the job. Alright Johnny. But for your sake, you'dbetter be telling the truth. whatever. Forget this little "bar tab" and I'll consider notbeating the fuck out of you. Comprende? Don't get lippy with me, you little rodent.A tab is a tab, now pay up before I reallyget pissed off. Look behind you!! A three headed monkey!!! That line didn't even work for Guybrush; sowhy would it work for you? Because I'm wearing sun glasses.Because I'm drinking grog.Because I have a boner.Because I hate you. Because I'm wearing sun glasses. Yeah, and they suck You suck Better watch your lip before I split it.. Because I'm drinking grog. That's a Shirley Temple. Goddamit I asked for a Roy Rogers *sob* Fuck you. Because I have a boner. So do I, wanna go in the back? I think I'm going need more to drink first.. Because I hate you. You better watch your lip before I split it. Better watch your lip before I split it There seems to be an abnormally largebouncer guarding the doors.. He's been eating his wheaties. Not my type. Move aside. I want in. No. How 'bout now? Damn, this is going to be harderthan I thought.. Nope. How do I can someone who's not evenworking for me? What am I gonna do, fish him to death? I don't think you have enoughiron in your diet. That probably wasn't a good idea.. Sure, what the hell. No, I'm a big pussy. He's tougher than he looks!Have another go? Go mend some clothes captain pussy. Now that's what I call a cat-astrophe. Part 2The Break In Barbie Dolls?... This isn't a good time to playkick the can. I think the 2x4 will do just fine. I should probably lure him overhere first. Way to go, dipshit. Try again? Okay. I have betterthings to do. Don't be a pussy. Try Again Yeah right. I don't think so. I'm not goin' in there unarmed. It's locked. Where the hell did this come from? It's a photo of some dork with sideburns anda goatee. I don't remember picking this up.. It's a bullet proof door (I think). I've always wanted one of these. Hmm.. I could've sworn that was gonna work. Johnny Power!! Johnny Power!! Johnny Power!!! HOUAHH!! Part 3The Rescue Looks like it's inhabited by someunsanitary filth mongrel. Looks like a window. A very dirty window. It's one of those massive, inpenetrable doors.Too bad I can't get over there. That's where the guards can yell nastyand hateful things at me. That keyhole brings back memories of me spying onmy sist-I mean-GIRLfriend in the shower. Spiderlicious. It's killing time I'm not sticking my arm ina vermin metropolis. I left my lockpicks athome. There's no door handle. It's a slot in the door. I hope I don't stay here aslong as this guy did... It's one of those non-openingwindows. Spidery. My Johnny sense tells methere's a screw driver inthis pile of filth. Looks like there's a keystuck in that web. WishI could reach it. Use Screwdriver on -click an object- I don't wanna. What's that gonna do? I would, but the screwsare stripped. Nah. It's too bulky to pick thelock with. I want that key. I don't think so. Cool, I bent it. Use Bent Screwdriver on -click an object- That's rich. You're such a kidder. It's too bulky for themillionth time. Naaaaahhh. I thought you were goodat this. I can pry this window open withmy new fangled (bent) screwdriver. Part FizzourThe Conclusion Part FizzourThe Conclusion Part FizzourThe Conclusion Well.. ..I never did find that bar slut's kid.. ..maybe she'll give me themoney anyway. Wanna see my dolly? Hmmmmmm.. Close enough. I got your daughter back. OH, JOHNNY!!!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! Oh, of course. Here's your- ..money. But that's not my- shut up. heh heh heh This is gonna buy me a looooottt of crack. Thas a nice wad abills you got there,homes. Geev us the money and maybe we won't keelyou like the dog you are, eh? You want to die, essay? Les fucking keel thees punk. Yoo're a dead man, homes. A Johnny's work is never done.. JOHNNY ROCKETFINGERS Music By Lunatic Calm Propellerheads FatboySlim Crystal Method Cirrus Everything else by Ryan Khatam BT There is a 99.9% chance you missedout on HALF of the witty dialogue andslick animated sequences!! Try playing again using the wrongitems and saying the wrong shit andso on.. Replay Replay www.crackedanimations.com www.crackedanimations.com Chapter Selection Chapter Selection Yeah, ok. I'll pay you. uhh.. Maybe next time you should makesure you've got money, eh?Try again? I guess. This game sucks.. Nuh uh! You suck! Awww c'mon Marty, be a friend. Rememberwhen I saved your wife from that fire? No, but I remember when you looted myhouse while she was burning alive. Same difference I only pay for two things: jack, and shit. Have it your way Johnny.. Ya fucked up bad, pal!Try again? I've got nothing better to do. I'm scared and wantmy mother. Why are you such a bitch? *GASP!* "Bitch"???!! I'll show you who's a bitch.. Alright. I'll do it.